The word “history” in French carries two meanings. Not only does history refer to the past, it means “story”. I know that each time I tell my history professionally it will become less of my history and more of a story. The details will blur in my memory, and I’ll be a caricature of my former self. Now, starting college, people ask me where I’m from and what high school I went to. But soon, however relevant that experience is to my present and future character, no one will ask me about it. When the time comes to tell everything, and whether the audience is large or intimate, it will all be a story. A slightly true story, a spoken memoir.*
For now, I’ll let you know the reason I want to be a director and writer of films. To me, films are a combination of the best of creative pursuits: Music, Art, Theater, Literature, Fashion. I admire them all, but could never excel in all nor choose a single one to perfect.
As a child I was influenced by frequent family trips to Blockbuster. I loved how colorful movies could be, how they could make me laugh or escape to somewhere and keep me daydreaming for hours. (A hobby I still pursue.) I always knew I would do something creative, and always assumed that all my peers not only disliked math but wanted to be in movies or write books. I never imagined anyone wanted to be a doctor or lawyer or veterinarian. I knew I couldn’t do anything that wasn’t different everyday. I wanted to make my daydreams life. Now, I know I couldn’t work in an environment that didn’t change from day to day.
My family was an isolated unit. The importance of having each other in a city where we had no one else was always stressed. We didn’t get too many visitors at my house, and I remember always wanting to be in a crowd, surrounded by strangers. I’m not sure I feel the same about public spaces now but I do hope the collaborative nature of film will allow me to meet, work with, and learn from many different people. Here at SMU I find I want to know and meet everyone, even though that won’t be possible.
I could write all day honestly, but I’m not sure that this blog is the place to do it. If you ask more, I’ll tell you. Until then, I’m going back to work on making my history, a better story.
*And maybe a written one too! I have the title